How many has it been this week? This month? This year? Seriously.. it is getting insane. Father, why do you call me to them? or bring them to me? I am not qualified to help at all... I can't do anything. I don't know anything. Make it stop or give me what I need to help them and honor you...
Why must they hurt so much and why do I feel their hurt? Why can't I just take their hurt away from them instead of them feeling it too? This is like a messed up version of the Giver. I don't believe we are meant to bear any pain alone, but if it meant that they wouldn't have to bear it and they would be able to live freely and I could bear it on my shoulders instead with you there holding me, then, please by all means make it happen. Don't let me care with out giving me a way to help too. That isn't fair.
Why am I not in a position to do more? In the right major, the right field? Why do I desire that so much? To be there and not here?
God... you don't put desires into us that you don't intend to fulfill, at least, I am fairly certain that you don't. You also have never given me a question without eventually giving me an answer and never given me a passion without equipping me for action. So why the delay this time? Is it a matter of my obedience? Because if it is... take my will away from me and let me have yours alone... I want to help them all...
I want to be apart of the healing that you are doing. Please... Renew your people.

with love;